Oh its another wonderful football weekend coming up in Austin, Texas. #1 TEXAS vs. #7 Oklahoma State University. You may remember them from Vince Young’s epic 27 point come back during the championship season…. or from being beaten alot by us. Anyways, this year they are better, and after the last 2 weeks of playing ridiculously high ranked teams why not throw in a third.

I plan on having a wonderful time tailgating and here is my personal guide from 3 years of experience.

1. Print your ticket, twice, and put one in your wallet and one in your pocket, boot or wherever else you won’t lose it during the hours pre-game. I will not return to the house for a man without a ticket.

2. Texas Exes Member Card. This is the most important part (and a very new addition to the list). If you are not a texas ex, grab a student texas ex membership, its worth it, OR find a friend who has graduated and is really old (like Erik Stark). We will touch on this later.

3. Find a good parking spot. Tailgating takes place everywhere… so this is going to take a little work on your part, but plan your exit well. If you live south of the stadium you want to park south of the stadium even if you tailgate north of it… walk ten minutes and save yourself an hour of drive time on the way out. I park to the north of the stadium in a good little neighborhood where there are always a few good spots, it just goes overlooked, don’t give in to the $20 per spot places too quickly… but sometimes they are worth it.

4. Wear boots, and wranglers, and orange. Don’t wear white. I don’t care how hot it is outside… you wear orange. If you don’t wear the boots or wranglers we will lose. Ask Erik, he wears boots FINALLY, and we score  35 in the first half.

5. Mooch. At any point in time have multiple tailgates lined up. Sure bring your own case of cheap beer if you want, but its better to just tailgate-hop. Due to the sheer quantity of tailgates on Martin Luther King, I normally aim my time to that location…

6. Use the MLK creek. There is a wondurous creek in the middle of the MLK tailgates. Don’t use the hopelessly outnumbered port-a-potty system…. Follow the line of guys down the dangerously steep slope to take a pee in the creek. Saves time.  Good commradory. Makes you feel like a man. Not entirely essential to be a guy… but just preferred.

7. Go to the game. Take those 3 shotguns seconds before leaving… walk the distance to the stadium and whatever you do … go through Gate 1 if you are a student. Gate 25 is stupid. Don’t bring a bag… they slow everyone down (that was a note to the chicks).

8. Halftime - This is where I am going to drop some knowledge on you kids. It is a new addition to my weekly tailgating schedule. A lot of the time your at the game… your there for a while … the drinks start to lose their effect and then you have a semi-headache and no enthusiasm for the rest of the game. How can the longhorns win with a hungover crowd barely cheering them on? They can’t. Therefore… it is your DUTY… to leave a few minutes before halftime (as long as no one is in scoring position) run to the Texas Ex center… use that pass I told you to remember earlier… and spend money on ridiculously overpriced beer. Well, not ridiculously, but still, alot more overpriced than that 50cent Natty you drank earlier. Anyways, you down two of those, eat a hamburger and get back to the game before the 2nd half kicks off.

You can watch the other ongoing games in the sweet setup of the Ex center… with its tv’s and projector screens etc…. and get a break from sitting behind that fat chick who keeps falling off her stadium seating into you.

It is the key to the enjoyment of the game. Then you walk home after Texas wins and go to sleep. The nap is also important. So you can go back downtown to celebrate with the other Texas folk and make fun of the losing team’s fans.

Note to girls : Do whatever you like… just keep doing what your doing.

…That only means one thing. Fringe is on.

Great mess up of the day :

Sean Connery was heavily pursued to play Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but declined because he ‘didn’t understand them’ and had never read the books. At one point in the proceedings he was offered up to 15% of the worldwide box off receipts…. In case you were wondering how the movie did… that would have been $400 million in the bank.

Picture of the day : 

Tiger Woods caddies for the winner of some contest. Yeah…. I would probably still carry my own bag.

Humor of the day : 

Britney Spear’s sister getting pregnant…. 2 months after the first kid was born. Hi-larious, even if the news is a month old.

Little known info of the day :

This is Colt McCoy’s Girlfriend.

 Good Ol’ Peoria, Texas. From The Texas Handbook : By the 1980s the town had a population of eighty-one, two general stores with gas stations, and a garage. Peoria residents, who primarily raised peanuts, cotton, and hay, attended the Baptist or Presbyterian churches still active there, and their children attended Hillsboro schools. Through 2000 the population of Peoria was still reported as eighty-one.

Don’t ask me why… but I got an e-mail from the Mozilla team and they put my theme up in the fully open area of the website. Weird, considering, a week ago I got the official removal notice.

Not sure what the deal is, but for now its up and running.

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/8247

Download it, and tell your friends.

SNL is sorta back… and sorta funny. Actually, its just a few funny clips book-ending a bunch of really bad ones… However, I had to highlight some activities :

1. Mark Whalberg talks to animals — Watch a mark whalberg movie… than watch this.

2. Then Mark gotta kinda mad about this…. some of this is tongue in cheek but he reportedly was not happy :

3. So , SNL brought him back this week. He popped up in a couple of very short things, looking for andy samberg and then they finally had their interaction :

Also, Sarah Palin showed up in the intro :

and later in the daily news :

The first one was pretty funny, and I include the second one for the pretty funny dance moves

Anything else to say after that game? Perfect. PERFECT, first half of football. 5 possessions, 5 touchdowns. 3 points given up on defense (last minute field goal).

Colt McCoy ridiculous stats : 29 of 32 passing, 2 TD’s passing 2 TD’s running. More touchdowns than INCOMPLETIONS.

In the last two games Oklahoma & Mizzou, Colt McCoy has thrown 85.1%. Over 80% for the season. Yikes. The stadium was on fire from the beginning. All of Austin was a buzz for Mizzou in town, when the buses rolled up three hours before game time the outside of the stadium was packed.

I haven’t seen an enviornment like that since the Vince Young championship season (my freshman year)… but even more than that the home games this year are pretty insane tickets. Arkansas (was a top team coming into season) Mizzou (#11 , could have been #3) Oklahoma State (Currently #8, maybe higher), Kansas (#16 currently) and Texas A&M (Terrible team, but on thanksgiving and one of the better rivalries in college football)

Normally the season tickets are one good game, or a decent game, and a bunch of baylors or whatever. This year its stacked.

My getting chills moment of the game : Colt McCoy after being pulled to sit and rest in the 4th, standing 5 or 6 yards onto the field apart from the rest of the team, just watching the game when the camera hits him and the crowd (a record 98,383 ALL of whom stayed until the end) started cheering. It slowly built up and was a roar before he realized why we were cheering, saw himself on the screen and just did the hook’ em. Teammates / coaches stared to come over and congratulate him , regardless of how the rest of the season goes Colt is officially a Texas QB legend.

By the way… how sick was the almost-sack / fumble / kick it in front of you / pick it up and throw it for 23 yards play? That is one of those where you need to just run to the middle of the field and do the heisman pose.

Also of note : I started the Over-Rated chant…. in the first quarter.

Final Note : New addition to UT cheering: Some random kid started a slow clap that spread to the whle stadium. Sounded awesome at the end of the game.

Hook’ em.

Today is Texas vs. Mizzou. College Gameday was on campus, and while I missed it due to being asleep. I have heard about some pretty funny signs… For all you UT Fans here they are :
 

1. Chuck Norris checks under his bed at night for Will Muschamp.
2. I’m Claustrophobic! (it was super packed)
3. Chase Daniels ate my sign! (hes fat)
4. Chase Daniels head was cut out and pasted on the fat kid from the goonies (hes fat)
5. Chunk Daniel (hes fat)
6. We still don’t want you Chase (We got colt over chase)
7.  Not a sign but should be : Orakpwn3d
8. i hate tim tebow. <–classic
9. More Chase Daniel w/ pillsbury dough boy (hes fat)
10. The only good Tiger plays golf

Due to recommendations from Supersloth and Nate Mcguire I have done some more updates. The backgrounds now rotate with time. Normally I think thats really corny but it didn’t take me too long so I am happy with it for now. Also, you wide screen individuals shall now be enjoying a better view. If you are using anything over 1900 px wide then you can go ahead and screw yourselves. Quick Javascript on how I got the background to rotate :
function getCSS()
{
datetoday = new Date();
timenow=datetoday.getTime();
datetoday.setTime(timenow);
thehour = datetoday.getHours();
if (thehour > 20)
display = "http://www.tylerjameslee.com/wp-content/themes/qwilm-03/style.css";
else if (thehour > 17)
display = "http://www.tylerjameslee.com/wp-content/themes/qwilm-03/style_fire.css";
else if (thehour > 14)
display = "http://www.tylerjameslee.com/wp-content/themes/qwilm-03/style_early.css";
else if (thehour > 11)
display = "http://www.tylerjameslee.com/wp-content/themes/qwilm-03/style_blue.css";
else if (thehour > 7)
display = "http://www.tylerjameslee.com/wp-content/themes/qwilm-03/style_dawn.css";
else if (thehour > 4)
display = "http://www.tylerjameslee.com/wp-content/themes/qwilm-03/style_dawn.css";
else if (thehour > 1)
display = "http://www.tylerjameslee.com/wp-content/themes/qwilm-03/style_deepnight.css";
else
display = "http://www.tylerjameslee.com/wp-content/themes/qwilm-03/style.css";

var css = '<'; css+='link rel="stylesheet" href=' + display + ' \/'; css+='>';

document.write(css);
// End -->
}
 
then do a getCSS() to call the function.

I am almost 100% sure I copied this from another website a long time ago, but it was sitting in my ’saved javascripts for a rainy day’ folder and I have no idea where it came from. So , its not my code, but I can’t give any props out. I mean its nothing hard, just saying.

I thought about doing it to just change out the images themselves, but changing out stylesheets will allow me some more freedom if I want to do something different depending on time of the day also.

WOO HOO A NEW THEME. I had some free time today so I threw this together. It’s probably not complete but it works for the most part. Let me know what you think.

I don’t know that many monkeys… but these are the smartest ones. Seriously, watch this thing, its pretty incredible (minus the boring speaker) . Skip to 4:40 for the actual Bonobo video. If you skip parts make sure to hit the 16:00 mark also.

Ok, I saw this yesterday, and then again today in multiple places and now its just annoying the crap out of me. I really don’t know the legality of posting these images, so I pulled this first one from associatedpress.com and the second from cnn.com (both on their front pages)

Both are used with headlines such as “Dow has biggest drop in 5 years” or “Traders fear next great depression” pretty much the scariest headlines possible. Then they throw in a picture like this. Your wondering what is wrong with these? It is just some stock trader covering his mouth aghast at what is going on? But hes not covering his mouth in shock, hes guarding his headset so he can be heard by whoever he is talking to.

This second one is less apparent but I saw a bigger version and there is an obvious motion blur as he moves his hand away from covering the mic. I think anyone who covers the trading floor would know what these guys were doing since I picked up on it and my 3 months with A.G. Edwards as an intern don’t exactly qualify me as some sort of NYSE all-knowledgeable genius. It’s nothing terrible, its not photo shopping extra smoke in an Iraq city or extra missle launchers in Iran, but it is a misuse of a photo that goes against normal editorial rules. Now my rant is over it won’t annoy me… until I see it tomorrow.